such a nose!

Valvert: Ahem - your nose - is -very -very - big.
Cyrano: It is indeed.
Valvert: (laughs nervously) Ha! Ha!
Cyrano: And is that all?
Valvert: (perplexed) Why, what -
Cyrano: Too short, young man. You might have said many sharp things by varying the tone. You might have put it some such way as this:
Aggressive: Sir, if I had such a nose I'd cut it off to please, not spite, my face.
Friendly: A nose like that must dip so deep a special goblet should be shaped for it.
Descriptive: 'Tis a rock! A peak! A cape! Did I say "cape"? 'Tis a peninsula!
Inquisitive: Is it an oblong box for pen and ink? Is it a scissors-case?
Gracious: I see you love the little birds and offer them this perch for tired feet.
Belligerent: Sir, when you light your pipe, and smoke blows through your nose, the neighbors cry "Look out! Another chimney is on fire!"
Kindly: With such a burden on your head, take care you do not topple to the ground.
Considerate: Have an umbrella made to keep its hues from fading in the sun.
Pedantic: Monsieur, Aristophanes' Hippocamp-elephanto-camelos, that fabled beast, could not have borne so much great bone and heavy flesh upon his head.
Flippant: The latest vogue, I have no doubt; clever and fashionable and useful, too: a perfect hook on which to hang a hat.
Rhetorical: No spiteful wind that blows makes you catch cold, O magisterial nose!
Dramatic: When it bleeds, 'tis the Red Sea! And what a sign for perfumery!
Lyric: Is this the ocean shell, the wreathed horn, that Triton blew when the old gods were young?
Innocent: Tell me, when do they unveil the monument? And may we visit it?
Respectful: My congratulations, sir, that thing's a house - with a tremendous view!
Rustic: Don't tell me that's a nose. I know a melon or a giant cucumber when I see one - and sure I see one now.
Militaristic: Load that gun of yours, and aim it point-blank against cavalry.
Practical: Entered into a lottery fifty to one it's sure to take first prize....

-Edmond Rostand, Cyrano de Bergerac